I first met him last fall. I had been asked to teach an adult Sunday morning class at a local church.  The title of my lesson was: "Will it ever be enough?"  It was a lesson on grace.  I noticed a gentleman at the back of the class - likely in his 70’s - a weathered face with kind eyes.  In some ways he reminded me of my own father.  During the lesson I spoke about how we may never feel we are enough for people in our lives...from our past...or even God.  And I repeated over and over that our own efforts WILL never be enough...but because of God’s grace...we ARE enough.  I talked about some of my own experiences - times when I thought I could never do enough to please my mother - and how I turned into a "caring what others think of me- people-pleaser". 

I ended the lesson with my own version of the prodigal son story.  I couldn’t contain my tears as I stood there in front of them and talked of how I imagined the father lifting his son by the shoulders and holding him to his chest and saying:  "you’re home...I love you...you’re enough". 

I looked at the man at the back of the class and he was covering his face with his hands.  Afterward, a number of people came to talk with me. They told me their own stories of feeling like ‘it was never enough’...and how God continually reassured them that He loves them...and they are enough for Him.  As I listened to each person who came --- Lynn, Carol, Sam...Marcia - I kept glancing at the man...still sitting there in his chair.  And as others began to leave for the church service, he walked up to me.  I asked his name and took his hand.  "Norm", he said. 

Norm kept a tight grip on my hand as he began to weep and tell me a story of a young boy who was never good enough for his father.  The boy was beaten regularly and finally abandoned by his father just as he entered his teenage years.  The pain was more than evident in Norm’s eyes.  How he had longed to win his father’s approval all those years ago. 

There was nothing for me to say.  We stood there and cried together for a moment.  And then for the first time Norm released his grip on my hand.  He took hold of both my arms and a smile spread across his face.  "But you have reminded me today that I DO have a Father who loves me...and I am enough for Him.  God has brought me through many things...and has loved me and will always love me...and I’m enough for Him."

I walked away that morning praising God - knowing that a wonderful healing was taking place in Norm - and I was privileged to witness even a moment of it with him.

Glad

Remember the "Dancing Baby"?  You know...that animated-life-like-3D-baby dancing on the screen during the Ally McBeal show?  Well, for most of us, it got 'old' pretty quickly.     In fact the entire show did.  But it seems that the animated baby has made a comeback of sorts on the internet.  (sigh).  Someone on my 'friends' list at  myspace.com/gladfaith  posted the dancing baby video the other day.  (sigh again).

Don't get me wrong...I love babies.  REAL ONES.  The "3D Baby" brought several things to my mind.  Mostly...friends...and babies.  I found out last week that a 40-something friend of mine is expecting her first baby.  Earlier this summer I spent time with another friend who has miscarried more than one baby.  And somewhere in between I celebrated with two young friends who baptized their 4 week old baby boy.  All three events turned me into a BIG baby -- a cry baby. 

I cried during the phone call when my friend gave me the news of her pregnancy. I was thrilled for her.  I cried with my friend who is missing her lost babies and the 'could have beens'.  I grieve with her.  I cried as I held baby Preston on the day his parents dedicated him to God. I rejoiced with them.

All the tears helped me realize something about babies...about children.  Jesus loves them.  Whether they're being formed in a mother's body, whether they're with Him now in heaven, or whether their lives have just begun here on earth.  He loves them.  And He wants us to become more like them...wide-eyed, innocent and beautiful in His sight. (no dancing required)

(And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."  Matthew 18:3,  The Bible) 

What will it take for you and I to become more childlike?

Glad

This morning relationships have been on my mind.  Not just any relationships -- but the kind that have faded away or ended abruptly, (for any number of reasons), and then have suddenly 'resurfaced' -- seemingly out of nowhere.  Has this ever happened to you?

Now if I were a person who believed in 'chance happenings', I likely wouldn't think too much about the 'how and why' of these reconnections.  But since I firmly believe that there is a reason for everything - nothing happening by chance - no coincidences - these relationships have given me much to ponder.

Two of these relationships have re-entered my life recently.  One - several months ago...the other - just a few days ago.  Both have been a huge 'gift'. 

This is a season in my life where everything is new.  I now live far away from all the things that were familiar to me -- home, family, career, and friends. It's been a season of many goodbyes...many 'see you soon - we'll stay in touch - out of sight, out of mind' scenarios.

My two renewed friendships have come at just the right time.  They have encouraged me, affirmed me, challenged me....been good for me. I have been blessed.  I am grateful.  And I still have much to ponder.

("A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."  Proverbs 17:17,  The Bible).

Is it time for YOU to reconnect with an old friend?

Glad

I made two new friends today.  It's always a good day when we can make a new friend.  I figured I was doubly blessed...two in one day...not bad.  It happened while I was swimming alone in our townhouse community pool. It was around 1:00, already 90 degrees, and no sooner had I splashed into the refreshing water when I heard a voice from the hedge outside the pool's gated fence:

"Excuse me, could we swim?"

I didn't answer at first, scanning the hedge until I spotted two pair of big brown eyes belonging to two little boys, peering longingly at the cool water.  I asked if they lived here, (already knowing they didn't).  After a long pause, the older boy confessed, "No ma'am."  The younger boy's eyes never veered from the clean, blue, almost empty pool.

I thought for a moment, and then told them to walk over to the gate.  I climbed out of the pool, grabbed my keys, and opened the door for two very quiet but obviously excited, soon to be soaked swimmers.  Within seconds their shoes, shirts and shorts were lying beside my chair and they were jumping in the deep end.  Looking back, I'm still not sure if those were boxer shorts or swim trunks on my young friends, but it didn't matter.  I quickly became swim coach, cheering crowd and competition judge, all rolled into one. I learned that Richard, the older of the two, was starting fifth grade in the fall, and already missed his teacher from fourth grade.  My younger, much quieter friend was called 'Poppy' by all his friends -- his real name was Sequoyah.  I began to talk about the mighty California Redwood trees of the same name.  He made it clear to me that he was named after the Indian Chief.  Of course he was -- how silly of me.

After an hour or so of swimming and jumping and laughing, it was time for the boys to leave. After their brief struggle of pulling their dry shorts over their still very soaked ones, I walked them to the gate with my keys and started to say goodbye.  Richard looked up at me with the biggest smile his face could manage.  "You're nice," he said.  I told him it was my pleasure to have met them both.  'Poppy' walked up to me with a quiet, "Thank you Ma'am for letting us swim with you."  And with that, they were on their bikes and down the street out of sight.

I wondered what they were thinking as they drove off.  I was thinking about how these two young boys blessed me today...more than they could imagine.

Tomorrow I will probably again swim alone in that big pool of cool water. But today, I made two new friends.

(Jesus said: "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these"  Matthew 19:14,  The Bible)

Maybe there's a Richard or Poppy (or both), waiting to be your friend.

Glad

I haven't been here lately.  No excuses - ok...maybe 2 excuses.  First - I've got this neck and shoulder thing happening.  You know...one of those 'injuries' ignored for much too long which now rivals the pain of passing a kidney stone?  Sigh. Thank God for Dr. Thom the Chiropractor!  Pass the heating bag. 

Excuse number two - (absolutely NO pun intended)...I've just recuperated from the most horrendous bout of the flu or whatever you want to call it. Forty-eight hours of my body expelling every ounce of it's contents in the most violent behavior!  Too graphic? -- sorry.  There's no 'pretty' way of saying that stuff.

Why is it that being sick makes me crazy?  Is it just me, or is there anyone out there who also has a problem with 'being taken care of'...or having someone 'do stuff for you' when it's painfully obvious you can't do it yourself?  Why do the phrases, "I'm fine", or "I can do that" seem to pop out of my mouth instinctively when carrying the grocery bags from the car feels more like carrying 200 pound dumbbells?

As my friend Mary Ann offered to help me with the groceries, I realized quickly that I was actually the dumbbell.  No sooner had the "I'm fine" words left my mouth and I saw the hurt expression on her face.  She offered to do a loving thing -- I rejected it, and snatched the blessing from her.

You know what it boils down to?  Pride.  Stupid, stubborn pride.  Every time it rears it's ugly head I need to stomp on it - or 'throw up' on it - whichever seems most effective at the time.  (sorry...pride isn't pretty stuff either).

I want to keep a gracious, soft and humble heart.          
How about you?  

("God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" James 4:6b  The Bible)

Could YOUR heart use some 'tenderizing' today?

Glad

Anna Jarvis...maybe the name doesn't 'ring a bell' for you.  She lived in West Virginia in the early 1900's.  It was in 1905 that she stood at her mother's gravesite and promised to fulfill her mother's dream to honor all mothers living and dead. She did just that.  Anna Jarvis was the power behind the official establishment of Mother's Day.

How are you spending this day -- Mother's day, 2006?  I spent part of the day on a Walking Tour at the famous Lakeview Cemetery in Cleveland, Ohio.  Our guide took us to the gravesites of some famous women -- most notably the wives of President James Garfield and J.D Rockefeller.  Both were amazing women who made huge contributions to their city and country.

But mostly today, I had another mother on my mind -- my own.  She's been gone 5 years now...but I often miss her still.  I think it's more about 'missing what could have been'.  We didn't have a very close relationship.  Maybe you know what I'm talking about.  Maybe you 'missed out' when it came to a healthy mother-daughter relationship. 

I have found that regardless of our age, women need other women to nurture and 'mother' them.  It's part of our nature, it's how we were created.  We were made my God to nurture and to BE nurtured. 

Do you have someone in your life who nurtures you?  Maybe it's your own mother...maybe it's another women who is a close and dear friend.  I hope and pray that you have someone in your life who fits that description.  And if you don't, that before too long you WILL.

"Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God." Ruth 1:16     (from the Bible's story of Ruth and Naomi)

May you always have a "Naomi" in your life.

Glad

As I painted Easter eggs with friends this weekend, I was flooded with memories of my childhood, and the annual Easter hunt.  My father would spend hours scouting out the toughest hiding places, (but not too tough for the little ones), and then laugh with delight as one of us came running through the farmyard, having found our 'goodie bag'.  I miss him.  He's been gone 2 years now, but some days it feels like 2 weeks.

Easter brings us the promise of a life that never ends...even though we leave this place called earth. I too 'laugh with delight' when I picture my Dad and Mom in heaven. But I still have moments of missing them desperately.

Maybe you're missing someone you love this Easter.  Maybe your egg-coloring dye is watered down with tears.  God sees those tears. He keeps them as a precious treasure.  He too knows grief. So do I. ("...we do not...grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope."  I Thessalonians 4:13,  The Bible)

I'm grieving with you today.

Glad

What does loneliness look like?  What does it mean for YOU?  When are the times you feel most lonely? 

These are questions that have stirred my mind and heart many times in recent weeks.  I've had moments where the 'ache' has been almost unbearable.  There have also been moments of simply wishing there was someone I could call to go cycling or canoeing with me.

It's strange that a person who enjoys 'quiet-alone' time, like I do, would feel incredibly lonely without warning.  A friend recently told me that it's a 'deep longing' we all have.  A longing for relationship.  He's right.  We were made for 'community'. The Bible even says that 'it is not good' for people to be alone.

I want to continually be in a place of gratitude. I have learned that the alone times have taught me much about myself, others and God. I'm grateful for that. I am also thankful for the people in my life who love me well.  And during those times when we are apart, how could I NOT long to see them again?

Is this a lonely time for you?  Do you long for someone to 'be your community'?  Someone who will truly hear your heart?   You're not alone.

Let me be part of your community.

Glad

3/23/06

I haven't written in awhile.  I have moments of 'shutting down' emotionally when I'm afraid. So I have avoided writing as well. It's during those times of fear that I crawl into what I believe is a 'safe place' -- away from all the people around me -- even the ones who ARE 'safe'.  You'd think I would have learned by now that talking through the fear and facing it head on is the better way to go...but of course, I again choose the hard way.

Why the fear?  Some unknowns and uncertainties about the future...mostly those things that are beyond my control, but again I choose to fret over them.  I hate it when I do that.  Each day I need to remind myself that I've been given everything I need for TODAY -- including people in my life who are that 'safe place' to share my heart.

Are you in need of a 'safe place'?  Are there fears or tough issues that you deal with alone because there's no one you can go to with them?  I know how that feels.  I don't want you to deal with them alone anymore. 

I would love to be your 'safe place'.

Glad

How often have you felt like you just want to run away?   You know what I'm talking about.  Those times when life gets really tough, or your situation seems hopeless, and you feel like getting in your car and driving away, never to return.  Or maybe it's the 'crawl under the blanket - shut out the world' kind of running away.

Been there.   ...big time.

But I have learned a valuable lesson about perseverance. It really does produce 'hope' ('...we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.' Romans 5:3-4 - The Bible).

Oh yeah... that character thing gets an overhaul as well.  I like that part.

A dear friend told me recently that all we really need to do is 'the next right thing'.  If I forget all the lessons I've learned in my lifetime, this is the one I want to remember -  Do the next right thing.  Persevere.  Hope lies ahead.

I'm holding out hope to you.

Glad